Wynter Gordon - Dirty Talk (Official Video)
Dirty talk doesn’t come naturally to everyone. In fact, it can be extremely awkward if you’re not comfortable throwing around potentially crass words for body parts or being honest about what you want in bed. But it’s a skill you can learn, according to Tina Horn, an expert on dirty talk who teaches workshops on the topic, and the author ofSexting: The Grownup’s Little Book of Sex Tips for Getting Dirty Digitally.
Horn notes that the first question people generally ask her at dirty talk workshops is “How do I do it without sounding silly?” According to her, the best thing you can say to someone to kick off the dirty talk is “I want you” or “I love it when you…” Partners like to know they and their efforts are appreciated. She also provides a list of words to get comfortable using in bed, which include but aren’t limited to: "come," "fuck," "bang," "suck," "hard," "wet," "yes," "no," "now," "slower" and "faster," "dick," "clit," "mouth," "ass." You get the idea. Put them together and see what sexy combinations you can come up with.
Another strategy popularized by sex advice expert Dan Savage is to describe to your partner what you’re going to do to them, what you are doing to them, and what you just did to them. For example, “Baby, I’m going to climb on top of you and ride you so hard”; “I’m riding you so fucking hard”; “I just rode you so hard.”
So much communication happens virtually these days via texting, Skypeing, and social media. The dirty talk guidelines that you would use IRL also generally apply to sexting, which is the practice of sending sexy messages or pictures to someone via your phone. “When it comes to texting on your phone or Gchatting or email, you have to be very deliberate and very methodical, and really pace yourself,” Horn recommends. You can’t read any nonverbal cues over a text, so choose your words or emojis carefully.
For more sext education, best-selling romance novelist Samantha Beck, previously shared a bunch of advice with Cosmopolitan.com. All of her tips are great, but if you only remember one thing, it’sbe specific. Beck says, “Say exactly what you mean, don't be vague. Sure, an 'I miss you,' text is nice, but if what you're actually missing are his hands squeezing your ass or his mouth on your boobs, then say that!” Amen, sister.
Video: Dirty Talk - SNL
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